"Sometimes unbelievers ask, 'Where is God? Why can't I see Him? Why doesn't He manifest Himself so that I may believe?' or 'Prove to me that God exists.' But how can anybody do that for someone who lacks sight? Their case is similar to a blind man who does not believe that there are chandeliers. He just does not have the eyes to see them. But those with eyes to see know from experience that all of reality is permeated with God. And you know what a sweet feeling it is to have that experience? To be within creation and to feel everywhere God's presence? Then life becomes intensely joyous. Everything is blessed. When you don't have this experiential understanding of God's Grace, then with the slightest provocation you become critical, constantly blaming others, constantly finding fault with them."

- Mountain of Silence, 63

Reading: Lord of the Rings

One year and 1250 pages later, we finished the Lord of the Rings series (including The Hobbit). What began last June as a way for Evan to entertain/comfort my sick self ended up occupying our attention for many evenings and long car rides over the next year. I'm thankful for writers like Tolkien who create worlds with words and thankful for Evan's many accents that made those words come alive.

“And the heart of this convert, still taking his baby steps in Orthodoxy, longed to know how to believe, which means also whom to believe. He was too much a person of his times and his own upbringing to be able simply to deny his own reasoning power and believe blindly everything he was told; and it is very evident that Orthodoxy does not at all demand this of one – the very writings of the Holy Fathers are a living memorial of the working of human reason enlightened by the grace of God. But it was also obvious that there was something very much lacking in the ‘theologians’ of our day, who for all their logic and their knowledge of Patristic texts, did not convey the feeling or savor of Orthodoxy as well as a simple, theologically-uneducated Abbess” (13). 

– The Orthodox Veneration of Mary: The Birthgiver of God by St. John Maximovitch

Theotokos

Coming from a Protestant background, I heard Mary (the mother of Christ) talked about at the most one or two times a year. She was usually mentioned around Christmas time and held up as a role model of saying "yes" to God or as yet another example of God's willingness to work through His children. Beyond the details Luke recounts in his Gospel I knew very little about her, which did not strike me as a problem considering the damage I saw in thinking too much of her (what I saw as Catholics "worshipping" Mary). But then, in the midst of discovering Orthodoxy, I was brought face to face with Mary (known in the Orthodox church as the "Theotokos," which means "God-bearer") and could no longer ignore her; after all, an icon of her is at the alter, hymns are sung to her during Divine Liturgy, and her feast days mark the beginning and end of the church calendar. I asked the Jensons for book recommendations and spent Sunday reading about Mary - what historical sources discuss of her and how the Christian church has thought of her throughout the centuries. 

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Some interesting excerpts from my reading: 

From: The Lost Gospel of Mary: The Mother of Jesus in Three Ancient Texts by Frederica Mathewes-Green 

“Long years ago a Christian heard this prayer and wrote it on a piece of papyrus that was small enough to carry through the day – the earliest prayer yet found that is addressed to Mary…The date of AD 250 tells us only when it was inscribed on this particular papyrus. We don’t know how far back the prayer itself might go. This prayer begins with Mary’s compassion. It does not speak of taking refuge under her power or her merits, but instead cites a motivation inside of her: she loves us. A person motivated by love is a sure help in trouble, and will pour out what could not be won by bargaining or flattery. A child knows this about his mother, that her love is something strong, and is a good place to find shelter” (87).

“If death has truly been destroyed, then these departed friends in Christ are alive and invisibly present; they are just as genuinely present as the friends and family we can see. But now they are also in the throne room of God, and continually at prayer. The early Christians had such complete confidence that death had been overthrown, that they asked the holy departed to pray for them” (93).

From: The Orthodox Veneration of Mary: The Birthgiver of God by St. John Maximovitch

“If God the Father chose [Mary], God the Holy Spirit descended upon Her, and God the Son dwelt in Her, submitted to Her in the days of His youth, was concerned for Her when hanging on the Cross – then should not everyone who confesses the Holy Trinity venerate Her?” (21).

“In the womb of Mary, God and man were joined. She was the One Who served as it were as the ladder for the Son of God, Who descended from heaven” (26).