My thought process
started with thinking about my identity, and the fact that as a white woman I
have part of my identity that experiences reality through disadvantage as a
woman but at the same time I experience a profound amount of societal privilege
by being white. The image of two eyes came to mind, and I thought about taking
a picture of my eyes to capture the idea of looking at the world from two
different angles and the tension that comes with that. Then, I began thinking
more about the medium of a self portrait, and how it seemed like a decent
analogy of examining your identity and privilege, for both require you to look
really closely at yourself, evaluating aspects of your identity piece my piece
to see how things are constructed, and finding things about yourself along the
way that you may or may not like (I have a lopsided chin). Both acts of
examination are uncomfortable, and it is much easier to turn away and cling to
the belief of what you think you look
like. I made myself do this project because for me, looking at my face for any
longer than a few minutes is a guaranteed way to open up anxiety, discomfort,
self-doubt and disappointment – all feelings that come along with taking a long
hard look at my identity and privilege. To sit in those emotions and continue
to make myself look felt like a fitting exercise for “where I’m going” or hope
to go – I hope to challenge myself to continue to examine the parts of my life
and identity that are uncomfortable, for myself and for my students.
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